Are You Ready? Parent Care Planning Is Key

It was Easter Sunday, when I got “the call.” I really wasn’t sure when I would get it, or who would actually call me-a neighbor, friend, doctor, or hospital. But, the voice on the other end of the phone was my 75 year-old Dad. I really hadn’t expected him to be the one to call. It was nine o’clock at night, and he sounded scared. He said, “Kim, I have some bad news. I think I have Dementia.” He went on to tell me that he had gone to watch the local baseball team play, and got lost driving to the stadium. He had been a Pelican’s Baseball season ticket holder for nine years, so he knew how to get to the stadium.

I had been calling my father faithfully every Sunday and sometimes as much as three times a week. I visited him at least twice every year. He lived seven hours away from me, and I had not noticed any signs of Dementia before. I had just visited him two months before this call. Why didn’t I see any signs? What was I supposed to do? He was only 75 years old. He was young, and I wasn’t ready for this.

Five years before my Dad’s call, he had decided to get his information together to make things easy for me when the time came. He gave me a sheet of paper with all his bank accounts and numbers, and the location of his safety deposit box and key. He even introduced me to his attorney and financial planner. That way they would know who I was when I needed them. I was so thankful that he was so proactive in providing the information. I filed away the information and we never discussed it further. That was our plan. No health information. There was a trust, but he never put the properties and financial assets into the trust’s name. Did he have insurance?

Now, five years later, I am on the phone with my Dad, and I am completely clueless about what to do for him. I got in my car the next day and drove down to his house. He didn’t know who I was, but he let me into his living room. It was 11pm by the time I got there. He was talking erratically and making a microwave dinner. I asked where his dog was, but he didn’t know. I asked if he had fed her, but he wasn’t sure. I asked where the dog’s food was-thinking that if I found the dog, it might be a good idea to feed her. He couldn’t find the food.

I decided that it might be a good idea for him to call it a night and go upstairs to sleep. I would clean up the kitchen and check on him in the morning. He started up the stairs and his eyes closed. I ran over just in time to catch his slumped over body and lay him on the floor. I called the ambulance to get him to a hospital. The drivers arrived and started asking questions:

What medications is he currently on? Me: Not sure
Where does he keep them? Me: Don’t know
Which hospital does he want to go to? Me: There’s more than one?
What allergies does he have? Me: No idea

Well, you get the picture. I could not have been less prepared. I felt like I didn’t even know my own father, and it got worse from there. When we got to the hospital, they decided to take him for an MRI. There were more questions that were asked that made me feel even more incompetent. Did he have tattoos, metal screws in his body, metal plates in his head… I was pretty sure he didn’t have any of those things, but considering he played baseball and other sports in school all the way through college, anything could have been possible.

What I went through that night was just the beginning of a long journey of research, doctor’s appointments, nursing home and assisted living visits, pulling my hair out and losing my sanity at times. I even became a certified caregiver through the American Caregivers Association. I had no idea how unprepared we were! It isn’t difficult to put a plan in place.

I would not want anyone to feel as helpless and overwhelmed as I did. That’s why I started Parent Care Coaching. I wanted to put my Life Coaching career and “parent caring” experience and knowledge to use helping others who have aging parents. We want to provide the best for them, but it isn’t easy when you aren’t sure where to start or don’t know what options are available. Planning is key.

And yes, in case you were wondering, I found Millie, the dog, brought her inside and fed her.

Kim Fowler has studied Life Coaching for over 15 years and is certified by the International Association of Coaching. She is also certified by the American Caregivers Association and finished the National Caregivers Certification Program. She lives in Surfside Beach, SC with her husband, Rich, their three cats and Sam the parakeet.

Effects Of Poor Parental Care On Child Development

Parental intervention and application of moral principles can do much to mitigate these potential effects. One can then consider some of the possible effects a poorly brought up child can face. Research clearly shows that a child who lacks adequate parental instruction stands the risk of recalcitrance. A dependable study who reveals that out of ninety-four thousand cases of child delinquent behavior, about eighty percent stems from children in a household with poor parental counseling.

Relatively, the escalating risk of childhood sexual abuse in our society today results primarily from ineffective parental training and supervision. Generally, this psychological development drifts through life with no set objectives, very low sense of direction and low self-esteem as well as delinquent attitude among many children of minimal parental care.

Every Christian home must bring up a child in the way acceptable to God so that when the child grows up, he will not depart from it. This is a responsibility many biological parents deride. It therefore means that child from such irresponsible parental background may grow above his jacket and subsequently becomes a nuisance not only to the immediate community but the entire society.

Indeed, a child without adequate and sustained parental instruction or counseling is worthless and may slowly or rapidly grow into marijuana addiction, vandalism and armed robbery as well as other social vices. Little wonder why child delinquency in many developing societies is always blamed on in-effective parental upbringing.

Sometimes, these parental responsibilities are abandoned due to one reason or the other. Cases abound where some children are considered and seen as very fragile and so to be handled with care resulting, unfortunately, in over pampering. Attempting by fathers to instill discipline in such children receives negative reactions from the mothers especially when they remember and consider the labour they passed through during delivery.

Candidly speaking, this shoddy home training bestowed on a child does not usually augur well for his development. This in turn helps to promote moral decadence, which is a cog in the mechanical wheel of development of any society.

Another causative factor of poor parental care in many homes is the issue of housemaids. Apparently parental care and moral instruction are now being concentrated on the housemaids to the detriment of the biological child. There is absolute denial of basic parental training of the child from birth.To get rid of this psychological impact of poor child up bringing on the society, every biological parent must properly groom his or her children to become useful citizens by not sparing the rod and spoiling the child.

The Right Parental Care During Pregnancy

Only a healthy mother can deliver a healthy baby. So, parental care and preparation are necessary at the beginning itself. Having nutritious food and health exercise alone will not help a mother to deliver a healthy child. It needs overall care in each minute element that a mother comes across her regular life. Once you know that you are going to have a baby, it is essential that you give your baby a healthy start. Pregnancy is an extremely amazing time for you as well as your partner and future child. As an expectant mother, you must know what is happening to you and the baby growing within you.

Time of changes

Even though in the initial stages you might not notice any major transitions taking place in yourself, you would be able to see the budding evidences of the changes going on inside your body slowly. Most Believe it or not, it would be totally miraculous yet strange for you to wake up every morning to discover that you see a body that is different from what you had yesterday. It is quite normal to experience some common discomforts while you are pregnant. Nausea, dizziness, vomiting, bloated body, fatigue, tiredness, body aches, frequent urination and many other problems are common during this time. All these should be given due care during the effective parental care.

Give care on emotional changes

You would also undergo emotional and physical changes during pregnancy. Maintaining a cool and calm mindset is necessary to keep your baby healthy. The time demands more relaxation techniques to free your body from unnecessary commotions. Try to practice any of your favourite pastimes during pregnancy period. If you come across extra mental pressure and shock, try to get rid of it at the earliest with the help of your better half. Reading is a good habit that any woman can leisurely enjoy during her pregnancy days. Watching comedy movies also can gift you more relaxation.

Consult your doctor in time

You can keep a track of your kid’s development by going through various tests. The best way is to visit your gynecologist regularly. These parental care visits are extremely essential for the health of your would be baby and you. A health care provider would also guide you about the things that you must avoid during your nine months of conception. Activities like drinking and smoking would hurt your child. Same is the case with certain medicines. A good doctor would advise you to eat a healthy diet and drink plenty of fluids. Prenatal vitamins also play an essential role in the health of your unborn child.

Caring For Baby: Daycare, Home Care, Parent Care, Family Care

Mother-to-be may work up to time to have the baby. Then the poor woman learns that sleep is often something she vaguely remembers from the past as she and the little one, with help from Dad, learn to adjust. After a short time, if the mother had worked before and needs to work again, the baby must be left somewhere during working hours. The choices of where baby will stay are mainly from daycare, in-home care, parent care, or family care.

Daycares come in two flavors: an organizational type, authorized daycare or a smaller daycare provided in someone’s home. The organizational or school type does provide “classes” for children enrolled, but there are anywhere from ten to fifteen children per “teacher” or care-giver. Most will not accept infants under three months old.

Some smaller in-home type daycares provide more individual attention for children enrolled and provides a more likely place for infants under three months of age. The problem is that too many “private” daycares accept too many charges for the number of adults caring for the young ones. Also, learning experiences aren’t always provided.

Home care may come in the form of a nanny or other care-giver who comes to the home of the infant or child. If both parents must work, and they have the income, this may be the “ideal” situation for the child and parents, as long as the care-giver can and will become a nurturing replacement for a parent during working hours. The baby or child should have more individual attention than in daycare.

Parent care, if the parent is willing to be at home with the baby, is probably the most beneficial for the child. Note the use of parent care rather than mother care. One couple has worked out a schedule so that while the mother works, the father stays home with the baby. The mother’s income is considerably higher than the father’s. Another couple change shifts: The mother works days while the father cares for the child; and the father works nights while the mother is home with baby. Values and experiences parents wish for the child aren’t compromised under such care.

Family care is another option that some parents find. A grandparent, aunt, cousin, or other family member either cares for the baby in the parents’ home or in his or her home. In such situations, if the care-giver is able, the child receives all the individual care as in any home and hopefully the training needed to prepare him or her for school and society.

The right decision depends on the family situation and even the sacrifices a mother or parents are giving to make for a baby. A must, though, if a baby is to be left in another’s care, is for parents to research and investigate before the need for child care arises.

Parental Care For Sick Babies – Some Helpful Advice

It is completely natural for all babies to face some kind of sickness or the other for the first 3 to 4 years. There is nothing to panic about this at all. It is pretty normal for babies to fall sick, but the only point to be noted here is constant parental care and attention. You should visit a good paediatrician regularly.

The general sicknesses which babies develop are generally flu, fever, and stomach pain and once in a while when the baby suffers from loose motion. Parental care for babies should start at home, and it’s not very difficult. Babies are susceptible to dust and pollution and for the initial years they tend to catch illnesses. But as parent, you must ensure that you give the right food to strengthen its immune system.

When afflicted with stuffed nose and cough, you can use a baby cough syrup and also, tweezers to pull the stuff that blocks the nose, but only when they are asleep, as it could create a lot of discomfort. A drop of honey on their tongue could help them build their immune system.

Since pillows are not recommended for babies below 2, you can keep folded towel under its head. It is generally advisable to give babies a warm bath. Applying some balm on the chest, and also on the back will be soothing. Especially, as you apply the balm on its back give it a gentle massage. This will improve the sleep.

When babies have stomach pain, you can apply castor oil on the stomach. It works extremely well, and you can see the instant effects of the cure.

If the baby has fever, you can give warm water to drink, but not ice cold. When babies are sick, it’s natural they will cry a lot. But singing lullabies really helps them calm down and it does have a healing effect. Singing to babies has been an ancient practice in India and neighbouring countries. As soon as the baby starts to cry if it’s sleepy, or feeling sick, the mother feeds it and starts singing a sweet song, and soon the baby feels relaxed and dozes off into a nice sleep.

It is very common for babies under 18 months to get sick. Reports show that the babies under this age get sick 3 times more compared to others. So it is very important for the parents to take care of their sick babies.

Divorce in Cyprus: Parental Care

An important dimension of Family Law is parental care. In general, this particular term denotes the right and the responsibility of parents towards minor children. Furthermore, it is exercised by both parents. That is to say, both of the parents are responsible for the welfare of their children, and at the same time they have the right to have a contact with them.

In Cyprus, parental care is regulated by the Law No. 216/1990. In case there is a dispute between the parents then either parent may apply to Court so that the conflict to be resolved. Cyprus jurisdiction applies only if one of the parties or both of them is a resident of the Republic of Cyprus for more than three months before the submission of a divorce application at the Family Court.

According to the Articles 6 and 7 of the Law No. 216/1990, each decision made by the parents or by the Court should focus on the best interest of the children. The judgement of the Court should respect the equality between the parents and make no distinction based on gender, language, religion, convictions, nationality, ethnic or social background. Additionally, the Court should take into consideration children’s wish only in case they are mature enough to decide for themselves.

In the case of divorce or separation, all the issues related to parental care are regulated by the Court following the provisions of Article 14 of the Law No. 216/1990. If the parents agree among themselves on matters related to parental care, then the Court does not intervene. In this point, it should be stressed that the parent who does not live with the children maintains his or her right to have a contact and communication with his or her children.


According to the Article 14, the Court assigns parental care to one parent or both of them if they agree. At the same time, the Court defines the place of residence of the children. In addition, the Court may allocate the exercise of parental care between the parents or assign it to a guardian.

The decision of the Court will take into account children’s relations with their parents and siblings, and also the existence of any agreement among the parents. As mentioned before, the primary criterion is always children’s interest.

Communication between children and relatives:

The Article 17 clarifies that parent who does not live with the children maintains his or her right to have a personal contact and communication with them. The Court intervenes only in case of an emerging dispute concerning the right to personal contact and communication between children and parents. The decision of the Court takes into consideration the welfare of the children by applying the provisions of Article 6.

Grandparents and other relatives have the right to have a personal contact and communication with the children. Furthermore, it should be noted that nobody has the right to prevent the personal contact between the children and relatives unless the interest of the children is not safeguarded.

The Court may regulate issues related to the exercise or not of the right to contact and communication between children and other relatives.

Revoke of parental care:

In case that one the parents does not respond to his or her responsibilities, associated with the exercise of parental care, then the Court may revoke from him or her parental care partially or wholly. The Court may assign parental care to the other parent or a guardian, totally or partially.

Furthermore, the Court might order a total or partial revoke of parental care from both parents and assign it to a guardian only in the case that other measures had not been efficient or to protect the physical and mental health of the children. The Court regulates the exercise of parental care granted to a guardian.

Change of circumstances:

The Article 20 stresses that the Court may transform or recall an order administering parental care. For this reason, one of the parents or the Director of the Social Welfare Services must submit an application to the Court. In addition to this, it should be proven that the circumstances have been altered since the date of issuing of the order regulating parental care.

Decisions issued by a foreign court:

A Court judgment made by a foreign jurisdiction is valid in Cyprus only if the Republic of Cyprus has conducted or is associated with an agreement for mutual recognition and enforcement of legal decisions with the country issuing the decision (Law No. 121(I)/2000). In case the country issuing the decision is an EU member-state, then the enforcement will be regulated based on the EU Regulation 4/2009 and the EU Regulation 2201/2003.

Elderly Parent Care – The First Five Sources to Turn When Your Elderly Parents Need Help

Eldercare responsibilities typically rise to the surface during a crisis. When an aging parent needs additional care you often don’t know where to turn. The good news is you have a wide variety of caregiving assistance easily available in most areas of the country.

One problem family caregivers need to prepare for when caring for elderly parents is the terrible fragmentation of America’s health care system. The process of gathering information and locating appropriate elder care services will take time. Finding exactly the types of aging/elder care support an elderly parent needs to be well cared for will take time. Be prepared for this disconnection among aging services to be a source of frustration for you.

I’d like to tell you there’s an easier way to find the specific elderly parent care an aging mother or father needs. I can’t. To minimize the stress, understand the problems you’ll face getting the information, your need, get yourself well organized before you make calls, then roll up your shirt sleeves and get to work.

When you don’t know where to start, use these five senior oriented services to find elderly parent care resources near you.

211 – Most major American cities offer the new 211 telephone service. It quickly connects you to critical elder care services available for seniors in your community. While services available through 211 for an older Americans vary by community, you may be able to find information about, and referrals to, services for every day aging needs in times of crisis.

Dialing 2-1-1 connects you to senior support services like food banks, rental and utility assistance, help locating home health care, adult day care, Meals on Wheels, home maker services and respite care.

Agency of Aging – Your local Agency on Aging is an agency of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. This agency helps seniors and their families quickly obtain information and resources on a variety of aging-related topics. The Agency on Aging can help you familiarize yourself with the issues affecting your elderly parents and aging services available to care for them. Find the agency in your area.

Senior Ministries – If you either you or your elderly parent belongs to a place of worship, contact their senior ministry. Larger churches and synagogues have senior ministries who are connected to elderly parent care resources. They can also arrange for volunteers willing to help with everyday caregiving tasks. If neither you, your mother or father belong to a worship center, grab the Yellow Pages and look up the names of the largest churches and synagogues in your town. Give each of one a call. You’ll be surprised how quickly you will find direction.

Health and Aging Organizations – Try this online, searchable database maintained by the National Institute on Aging. It gives you one-click access to a list of over 250 national organizations that provide help to older people.

Your Employer – An often overlooked resource is your employer. Many large corporations offer free eldercare guidance through an Employee Assistance Program. Check with your human relations department.

The network of social agencies connecting you to elderly parent care resources changes constantly. Many are non-profit and staffed by volunteers who may not be as well trained as you would like. Be prepared to run into outdated phone numbers, discontinued programs, being left on hold and less than helpful staff. You’ll eventually be able to find help caring for aging parents but it requires patience and persistence.